Rules for living with a tester

With tongue firmly planted in cheek, I will outline the rules for living with a tester that I wish I had known before, or that I wish could be in place now...maybe. I try to live my life using the philosophy of my hero, Bart Simpson, who says: "I didn't do it, nobody saw me, you can't prove a thing". I will be presenting, and expanding on, a list of "rules" (????) that I have periodically launched into over the past several years of living with Janet Gregory, the tester extraordinaire. Mostly when I don't get my way. Hopefully Bob is going to be there to back me up. My talk is followed by a 5 minute apology to my wife, and anyone I have inadvertently insulted.