How therapy made me a better teamplayer

Two years ago I divorced - my relationship ended after 14 years. This dramatic change in my life lead to immense personal development. I recognised patterns in my behaviour and communication that I wanted to change, so I went to therapy and took several workshops. There I learned to not only recognize my needs and boundaries, but also how to communicate them in a kind way. What I learned was not only applicable to my personal relationships, but also to my professional ones.

A huge eye-opener for me was learning about the 'guess culture' and the 'ask culture', and I learned that I was brought up in a guess culture. This made me aware of two important patterns in my behaviour.

Firstly, I tended to make assumptions about what others desired of me. Secondly, I found it very difficult to say no to those imagined desires. I used to put the needs of others before mine, even when people didn't actually express these needs. So, why should you care about my journey?

Because within professional relationships, you may find similar patterns: we tend to assume what others want from us, and we're not used to talking about this. Even when we do, we fail to be specific and we fail to reach a common understanding.

For example: When we say 'I need you to support me more', what does that mean?

Communicating your own needs, and setting your boundaries at work can be a challenge. Learning how to do this can improve your mental wellbeing at work. In this talk I will tell you about my journey, and give examples on how this influenced my work and collaboration skills. And I will give you practical scripts that you can use to develop these skills yourself!